The Importance of Pretty: Beauty and MS
Lisa Dryer and Tori Davies-Wompey are on a mission to bring beauty back to women with multiple sclerosis. Not that it went anywhere. It’s just been hiding.
From the moment of diagnosis, people with MS learn about what they stand to lose. The list of physical symptoms is too long and too depressing to detail here, and anyway, lots has already been written about this.
What the pamphlets and WebMD don’t tell you, is how this disease can erode your self-perception, your self-image. MS can be a straight-up, joy-sucking Dementor, and vain as this might sound to those who’ve never had to think about it, MS can steal your beauty.
Wait, what? MS can wreck your pretty?
MS takes and takes, and while it can’t actually turn you into a human gargoyle, it can make you think you’re one, and that’s just as bad. Tori Davies-Wompey, one of the women behind #MSbeautiful, says “I think MS steals so much from us. Our jobs, our abilities, our roles as daughters, wives, mothers, whatever it was that you did before that you can’t do now”. That’s a heavy list. But why stop there? Maybe you’ve had to give up heels. Maybe you’re covered in injection welts and bruises, maybe steroids have taken over your face.
Maybe you’ve peed your pants.
Any one of these things can make it hard to recognize your inner goddess let alone celebrate her.
Founder, Lisa Dryer was mid-relapse and struggling with these issues when she knew something had to change. With the help and encouragement of professional photographer and close friend, Al Murin, #MSbeautiful was born.
Cool hashtag, but what exactly is #MSbeautiful?
#MSbeautiful is an event that brings women together for a no-cost day of pampering and glamour, complete with hair, make-up, and even swag bags. The events are an opportunity for women to support each other, reclaim themselves, and raise self-esteem. Each event culminates in a professional photo-shoot. They’ve already held successful events in Ohio, Texas, and Wisconsin, with Colorado on deck. Lisa’s goal is to be in every state and here’s hoping that eventually #MSbeautiful extends past the US border.
So, Lisa and Tori have MS? Why are they doing this?
Lisa and Tori seem to know that in helping others we help ourselves and when Al Murin passed away unexpectedly last year, Lisa became passionate about continuing the mission they had started together. Tori says her work with #MSbeautiful is rewarding, that it gives her a sense of purpose. Says Lisa, “Looking at happy people makes me happier…But making people happy is even better. Giving people a little bit of fairy tale in their day. Amazing.”
Ok, but like, does lipstick cure MS?
If this superficial need to feel pretty is beneath you, then congratulations, you’re better than me. And if you’re pretty without makeup, well, bless your heart. Go forth and multiply. Personally, I believe more in blow-outs and bronzer than in actual, natural beauty, but Lisa (she really is better than me), believes everyone is inherently beautiful; that the things that make us beautiful extend beyond the surface and include “creativity, talent, smarts…what make you you”. She isn’t afraid to go on camera looking undone. She says women need to see that side of it too. It’s not about being an idealized version of yourself. It’s about how you feel.
Knowing a bit of glam can’t fix broken self-esteem, let alone cure MS, Lisa’s vision is to provide at least one amazing day, where we can escape a bit. And it’s working. Tori says “feeling pretty…makes me feel just a little bit human again”. Are we seriously gonna deny her her humanity? Get this girl to a MAC counter.
Wait. Are you saying disability can be beautiful?
One #MSbeautiful participant had this to say “As a woman with Multiple Sclerosis, it is very rare to feel beautiful, or as the center of attention for the way that I look. I am no stranger to getting stared at. Generally, I try to ignore people who look at my walking device, such as my walker or cane.”
Lisa and Tori know this is bullshit. Society has told us a bunch of lies about disability. In a disease where one has little control, claiming one’s beauty is about taking control back. #MSbeautiful is about being empowered to say:
I’m worth this. I deserve to be here. I deserve to be seen.
Are Lisa and Tori #changing the world?
Positive examples of disability in media are few and far between. Disability is underrepresented, misrepresented or just plain ignored and women with chronic illnesses like MS are left to conclude that disability, visible or invisible, isn’t part of the conversation, isn’t relevant. Simply put, isn’t beautiful. Lisa and Tori are calling this out and replacing the void with awesome images of real women in all stages of MS.
When Tori talks about how using a walker, and sometimes wheelchair, messed with her idea of herself, it clicks for me. Tori’s a babe. Tori uses walkers and wheelchairs. Me too. If Tori can be kick-ass, it reminds me that, so can I.
Seeing her beauty helps me see mine
and I realize just how powerful this campaign is. When women are empowered, it’s contagious. We need to see ourselves reflected back.
Swag bags and paparazzi? I want in.
These ladies want you to know that disability does not disqualify you from being beautiful. Join the #MSbeautiful Facebook group. Start using the hashtag on your selfies. If you want to participate in an event in your town, look for info on their FB page.
Hold up. I’m a dude. Can I come too?
No. #MSbeautiful is about women empowering women in a safe space. And while we know you need to feel pretty too, we’re sure you understand. Men are also affected by MS and many have faced similar issues, but this particular project is just for the ladies. So, sorry guys. You’ll have to get your own thing. Might I suggest #MSdudeiful?
Until next time, stay pretty, Trippers.
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What Lisa and Tori are doing is important. MS can wreck your self-confidence especially when you're having a frumpy day and just feeling like giving up. I feel better when I put my face on and like my outfit. I notice some people even treat me better. Instead of saying stupid ass things like "oh what a great ride you have there". They may say instead "I like your dress". Simple as that is, it makes me feel better. Kat
LOVE IT!!! PLEASE SHARE TO GLOBAL BRAIN INJURY ASSOCIATION!!!
Thanks for reading, Scott!
So true! Thanks Kat.
Good read! Love it
Thanks for reading Louisa!